Your Guy's Ex Girlfriend

Why he borke up with you and is married to me
a list
to Susie

1. Make-up. Try it. There is a limit on how much you can wear...but not wearing any with skin like yours? That is a no no. Acne is to be treated and/or hidden. Not put on display so that when I look at you I feel the need to eiether shower or buy you some powder.

2. Fashion Sense. This is not something to be over looked. Espeically living in the super trendy city that you, unfourtunently, live in. That plastic ring that you always wear? I wore that in eighth grade...which was 10 years ago. Or how about that dress you wore to our wedding(yea, I made the mistake of thiking she was OK and invited her. STUPID!) that hideous blue thing that looked like something my great grandma wore on her funeral? Don't even get me started on the Sears-esq shoes you sported.

3. Big Words. Are for vocabulary class and work. Not talking to your peirs. Gues what bitch? I got an A+ in College Vocab too, but you dont see me running aroud with a thesaurus trying to find a bigger, more impressive word for "the." Get over yourself. No one likes a show off.

4. Fuck...and That's Hot! (Yes...she says Thats Hot) I cuss. I will say the occasional F-bomb...but every other word? This coming from the same girl who just used the word phthsis is a sentense. Leave "That's Hot" to Paris Hilton you wanna be. Even Paris Hilton dresses better than you. I hate the girl, but I would rather drink bellini's with her anyday over you sorry ass.

5. Emailing and calling my husband and saying "Love you!" Ahem...if he loved you he would have married you! My guess is he got sick of looking at the world's homliest girl when he could have someone of far better stature. He does not need you and you, although you think it, do not need him. Get over it. I don't give two shits if you don't have alot of friends...that is so your problem. Maybe you should stop trying to speak like you are a Dawson's Creek episode and more friends would stick around. Hell, you may even be able to get a boyfriend who wont leave!

6. Flirting with my Husband...IN FRONT OF ME! That was the line crosser there. I tried to be nice to you. I went out to lunch with you, I emailed you and made plans for a movie. I even had you at our WEDDING! And what do you do at my wedding besides dress poorly? Flirt with my husband, eat off his plate, hug him for far too long, try and butter up all his friends...who hate you...??? What the hell is your problem? Get a life. No one wants someone like you around...seek change.

I wrote her an email, so she knows that I think all this. And what did she do? Call my husband to "talk about" it and he finally told her to...nicely...fuck off. So for now the bitch is gone, but with a mind set of insanity who knows when she will pop up again.

Girls...DONT PUT UP WITH EX'S LIKE THIS! You so do not deserve it.

Later